i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
