Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
