I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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