someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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