Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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