Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize