I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
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I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
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Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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