Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
