Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
