yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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