shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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