Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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