I want to walk on stilts...naked
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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