I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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