so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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