I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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