Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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