i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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