so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
