After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
