the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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