Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
