Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
