Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
