I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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