I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
