Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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