He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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