at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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