I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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