So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just leave with hair like that
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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