took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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