can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize