She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
