I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize