u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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