I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
