Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
