a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
