I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize