for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
