..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's just like the Real World with babies
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
