Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize