If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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