She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
