Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
