i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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