I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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