Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize