On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
