what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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