I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
