he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
