Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
