i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
