i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
