I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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