I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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