quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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