im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
please don't ironically join a cult
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