afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
