hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
