dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
