Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
