i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
