that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
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I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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