3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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