I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
