You made me cry and you don't even care
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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