Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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