Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
